Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
