Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I love having hate sex.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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