if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
