No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Sext me about skeletons
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
