She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
