If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
