I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
