Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
