I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
