Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize