it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize