Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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