If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
