It was confusing and full of hummus
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Randomize
