I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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