she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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