There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
