they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
