No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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