This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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