I cannot find my penis.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
