So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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