I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
