But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
