it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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