Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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