i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
