I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
