I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Panties = found
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
