Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
