I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
