Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
