Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
