My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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