Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
