ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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