She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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