i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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