So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
