Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You're breaking my sexual little heart
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
