God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize