just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
