Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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