I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
