I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
