i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
