i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
