Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
