I wannas sexs uuuuu
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize