I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
