Betty ford says i'm here all night
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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