Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
