The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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