Your tits are I can't wait for
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
she told me i tasted like america
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
