I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
