the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Life is so much better after having sex.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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