I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
