I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
