This girl is more easily done than said...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
