I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
