i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
