I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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