We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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