allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Randomize
