if i can run in heels then i can drive
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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