I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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