If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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