butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
