I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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