He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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