I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Randomize
