We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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