just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We left the knife in your bed.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
