good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
