went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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