I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
